


Losing My Way

by xxambreignsxx



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Ambreigns Struggles, Angst, Implied Manipulation, M/M, Self destruction, Slash, implied abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:21:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxambreignsxx/pseuds/xxambreignsxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set right after the triple threat match at Battleground where Dean and Seth double power bombed Roman as he returned after his one month absence.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Losing My Way

**Author's Note:**

> Set right after the triple threat match at Battleground where Dean and Seth double power bombed Roman as he returned after his one month absence.

His head was throbbing in pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. He felt the betrayal from two years ago. Only this time, it hit him on a way deeper level. He felt his heart shatter more than in one ways.

  
He was expecting aggression, hurt, pain from Dean. But not this. Not him tearing him apart in a way he could never expect from Dean. Although, looking back at how things were between him and Dean, Roman's mind wasn't as shocked as his heart apparently felt.

  
He knew how Dean's heart and mind operated. He should have expected this. But thanks to his naivety, he never saw their bond being broken. Over anything. No matter how tough shit got. He thought Dean was healed enough. Strong enough to deal with this. But no. His Dean was only strong and okay when Roman was there to keep him steady and grounded.

  
When he was double teamed during the match by Dean and Seth, Roman felt the utter confusion and agony. Betrayal. How could Dean? With Seth? Of all people, how could he work with _SETH_ to take Roman out? Was Dean really that lost?

  
Yes. That was the only answer. The only explanation. Roman brought it upon on himself. He was at fault. When things went sour between them after Roman told Dean that he could no longer do the friends with benefits stuff...Dean broke. He lashed out. He shut Roman off completely. Roman didn't know why he expected Dean to understand. But he was fighting too many feels. It was threatening his family back at home. When they first started this, it was only warming each other in cold nights. Being there for each other because they trusted each other more than anyone else. They could depend on each other to have their back through thick and thin. They were that connected. Just like soul mates. Only Roman was already committed. He could not throw away his relationship of years for a fling on the road. But he took too long in letting Dean go. He let Dean get too attached. He let himself got too attached. It lead him to panicking and fucking everything up beyond repair.

  
Roman remembered the day he broke the news to Dean. That he was expecting another child with his wife and whatever they had, it had to be stopped. He knew he came off as the biggest asshole ever. But him and Dean had an understanding. Whatever they had, it was purely restricted on the road. It would never affect Roman's family. Dean was so damn hurt and needy after Seth left. Roman had always felt this urge to protect Dean. From all the storms and cries. His heart was filled with hatred for Seth when he saw a sight of Dean so broken and vulnerable that he almost couldn't recognize his friend. So he helped Dean the only way he could. He gave Dean what Dean needed. Intimacy. To be wanted. To be cared for. To be desired. To feel worthy of something. Anything. They weren't suppose to fall in love. But they did. Roman just didn't know how to handle the situation.

  
Roman needed to talk to Dean. To make him see that he was self destructing in his quest to hurt Roman back. Seth was bad news. With the way they worked through that match, Roman suspected that there was more going on between them behind the scenes. His suspicion was confirmed as he came across Dean's locker room. There he was pressed up against the wall. A cocky sweaty Seth holding him by the throat there. But Dean wasn't struggling. Instead, he was moaning.

  
What the actual fuck?

  
On instinct, Roman found himself grabbing at Seth and throwing him off of Dean as he screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? HUH?? HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HIM??"

  
Seth was on the ground, fuming, ready to pounce but one look at Dean and he nodded understandingly. Seth stood up and got into Roman's face, "I would have no problem answering you with a punch for that. But I would rather have Dean do the talking. He needs to tell you something, don't you _pup?"_

  
The term of endearment disturbed Roman on an extreme level. He frowned as his eyes found Dean's. Dean was looking down and nervously fumbling with the end of his tank top as he nodded. "Can you wait for me outside?"

  
Seth smirked at Roman and leaned forward to touch his lips sweetly to Dean's and he didn't shy away from a rough caress to his jeans cladded ass. Squeezing him firmly and Roman was so damn mentally fucked with what he was seeing that he was stilled in his spot. Dean was accepting all those touches from Seth...willingly. 

  
With one last smirk Seth grabbed his bags and left the locker room leaving Roman and Dean alone. Roman grabbed at Dean's arm and yelled, "What the fuck is going on Dean??? What the hell are you doing letting Seth do this to you? Have you forgotten he hates you? What he did? Don't you fucking remember that Seth is ALWAYS bad news?"

  
Dean flinched a bit with the tone angry Samoa was using with him, but he stood his ground. His eyes turned furious as he said, "Its none of your fucking business Roman. You left me, remember? You have no right whatsoever to have a say in my life. Go back to your little family and leave me the fuck alone!" With that Dean moved to storm out of the room but Roman grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him back against the wall, effectively trapping him in between his arms so he couldn't move. If he had to force Dean to listen, he would. If one thing he learned in his whole life with Dean was that he loved to self destruct. But Roman never allowed it in his presence.

  
"I hurt you, okay...I know you are mad...But Dean, this is not smart. You know you are only doing this out of spite! To hurt me! You are only gonna get hurt yourself"

  
"You dont know anything about my relationship with Seth so fuck off"

  
That made Roman growl, "I DONT KNOW??? In case you have forgotten, it was me whose arms you fell into when Seth left you high and dry! It was ME who took care of you when Seth was too fucking insensitive about your damn feelings! Do you think he has changed?? HUH? He's only fucking using you Dean and you know it!! He wants to get back at me for taking you away from him! HE IS USING YOU AND YOU HAVE TO SEE THAT"

"SHUT UP!! SHUT UP ROMAN! Shut the fuck up! I don't owe you anything! Not any explanation, not any fucking thing! He's good to me! He was there when you left me!"

"He was only here because he knows your weakness! He loves to exploit your vulnerability!"

"AND YOU DON'T? Roman, YOU dropped me as trash when things got tough! You don't love me! You only felt pity and in process, you got your dick warm because guess you saw me as an easy whore too! You are nothing different from Seth" He spat and it was enough for Roman to snap, "DONT YOU EVER COMPARE ME TO THAT SCUMBAG! I never treated you as trash! I cherished you! I loved you! I...I still love you" Roman was losing the battle. The emotions he tried to fight so hard. Suppress the feelings for so long. But seeing Dean like this, being so close to him, he found himself desperate to make Dean see that he cared. That he wasn't as heartless as Dean was making him out to be no matter what went down between them a month ago.

  
Hearing the declaration of love from Roman made Dean's heart clench. He shut his eyes tightly as he said in a pained low voice, "That's the problem Roman. I could deal with abuse. With being used. But you got me used to love. You got me used to feeling worthy of something. Then you left me." Dean paused and there was a shuddering breath that left his mouth as he continued, "Don't do this Roman. Don't make this harder. Let me deal with this the way I am. Leave me alone. Don't feed me lies. You don't..." He was cut off by Roman's lips on his. Hard, dominating, desperate. Dean's eyes widened. He was struggling to get Roman off of him, but Roman held onto him. Roman pushed his forehead against Dean's harshly and whispered to him, "I missed you so much...I fucked up, okay? You can't do this to me. You can't not give me a second chance. You can't let Seth win Dean"

  
Hearing Seth's name, Dean felt himself getting furious and he pushed at Roman's chest to get him off of him, "Is this about Seth? You are only saying this because your ego can't take Seth having me isn't that so?"

  
Roman shook his head and held Dean against the wall as his voice softened up, "Baby Boy...Please...As much as I hate that scum bag, its more about doing my wrong right"

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Dean's suspicion didn't surprise Roman. He had given every reason for Dean to be doubtful of him. But he was determined, "Being a month away from you opened my eyes. I love you. More than I realized baby boy."

  
Hearing Roman call him baby boy melted Dean's defenses and he shook his head, trying hard not to let tears fall from his eyes. His neck was titled back against the wall and Roman's eyes fell onto a bruise hidden under the strap of his tank top. He pulled the fabric away to further inspect and Dean pulled away from him harshly. Avoiding the hard look Roman was giving him.

"He's hurting you. Why Dean? Why did you go back to him?" There were tears in Roman's eyes now. This was all his fault.

  
"You know why. I am back where I belong. I can handle it. Don't worry bout me. Your family needs you more than me."

Dean's words were ripping Roman's heart to shreds. They were filled with so much agony. Roman's hands left Dean's body and he dropped down onto the ground on his knees. He was so god damn exhausted.

"I can't go back to my life knowing you are hurting all because of me. This is all my fault...all my fucking fault..such a fuck up..." Roman was lost...He kept on rambling and Dean's heart was hurting so bad seeing such a strong man in such a state. But he just couldn't let Roman back in. Couldn't let himself get attached again. It would hurt too much. Next time probably Seth wouldn't be even around to pick him up. He couldn't lose Seth too only to lose Roman once again. He couldn't take that chance.

  
"Please Roman....Don't do this. You made your choice. I made mine. Now we have to deal with it." And with a heavy heart and heavy load of words, Dean went towards the bench, grabbed his bag and left the locker room. Not without looking back at a broken Roman one last time.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
